Want
by SamiWami
Summary: After a trip to an alien planet, Rose catches a bit of a hormone that causes her to lose control of her feelings for the Doctor.


They stumbled into the TARDIS, the Doctor slamming the doors shut tight behind them. One glance at each other sent them into another fit of laughter as they collapsed onto the jumpseat.

"Did you see when they—"

"Oh, I know! I was sure he was going to burst a gasket. Do they always—"

"Turn that shade of purple? Wellllll, no, it's your brain interpreting their emotions through your limited grasp of color ranges, but—"

"Come off it! You made him just as angry as I did."

They gasped for air, swallowing large gulps to try to drown their laughter. The Doctor leaned back against the seat, a contented smile on his face. These were the days that he could get lost in, that he could ignore the time lines for the here and now and let his brain live in the human ideal of forever. Though a storm was approaching, he was doing what he did best: avoiding it. And Rose Tyler proved a mighty good distraction.

After a length of time, he noticed she was being entirely silent, which was unusual for her. He lifted his head from the back of the seat, fixing concerned eyes on her. She was staring at the time rotor, though she didn't seem to see it, fingers curled around the chair so tight her knuckles were turning white, and little tremors were running up and down her slight frame. "Rose?" he asked, reaching a hand towards her.

She jerked herself away before he'd even touched her, as if he would burn her. Her eyes pinched shut tightly, and she shook her head, the tremors kicking up a notch. "Don't…" Her voice came out breathy, choked. "Don't touch me. Not now."

He shifted in the seat to face her, knee brushing hers accidentally. She swallowed a cry, swinging her legs away from him. Closing his hands into fists to keep them away from her, he ducked his head, trying to get a closer look at her face. "Rose, what's wrong?"

Pinching her lip between her teeth, she shook her head again, slowly this time.

Gentle fingers cupped her chin, turning her face towards him. Her eyes opened slowly, holding a pleading note, and the drastically widening pupils startled him. He opened his mouth to say something, but she shot forward. Lips collided with his, tongue snaking into his mouth as fingers curled into his hair. That was most definitely a manly yelp he uttered, manliest manly of…

He got lost in the sensation of her against him, the tastes and textures of Rose Tyler. The cotton of her shirt rubbed against his palms as he pressed them to her shoulders, caught between pulling her closer and pushing her away. The wet slide of her tongue across his made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. The taste of mocha and a hint of mint from where she'd brushed her teeth that morning almost covered a citrusy tang in the back of her mouth.

Scrambling for some semblance of sanity, his mind latched onto the tang just as Rose swung her leg over him, ensconcing herself in his lap as she straddled him. He succeeded in pulling her away from his lips. "Rose! Rose, Rose, Rose, wait! You… This isn't you! You've come into contact with a hormone native to the planet we just left; I'm not sure. It could have been in the air, or maybe you ate something? Do you think they slipped it into your water? I—Rose! Rassilon, Rose, I—"

His mouth fell open and his head hit the back of the seat. While he stammered through his explanation, she'd laced her fingers through his, pulled his hands down to her hips, and moved forward to grind herself against him.

She made a noise of appreciation at the rapidly growing bulge against her, and moved her lips to the exposed column of his throat. Tongue flicking back and forth between the rapid double pulse points, she chose the right one and bit down, sucking on it hard enough that there was sure to be an angry purple bruise there later, even with his superior biology.

His hands spasmed on her waist. He reached for that last bit of his willpower and scooter her back to his knees. She pouted prettily at him, and he had to rapidly swallow down a groan that might encourage her.

"Rose," he began slowly, keeping hands carefully on clothed parts while he focused his eyes intently on her, "something's wrong. Something is effecting your judgment. There is a neurotoxin, possibly a hormone, that your body doesn't know what to do with, and is manifesting it like this. I need you to focus. Can you do that for me, Rose?"

She stared hard at him, and he began to smile, sure he'd gotten through to her. Until her eyes dropped to half mast and she purred, "God, you're sexy when you talk like that." She leaned forward, pressing her lips to his again. Her hands scraping down his chest, her taste and smell overwhelming him, the Doctor let himself kiss back, his lips moving against hers and sucking them back when her tongue darted out to touch his bottom lip.

He pushed her away again, clinging desperately to her hips. "Rose, stop, please. We can't… I don't…"

Hurt so strong and sudden it was like a punch to his throat flashed through Rose's eyes. Her lip quivered, a twinge of shame showing through the overbearing lust, and she scooted back farther on his legs. "You don't want me. Yeah, I just—"

Before he could think through what he was doing, his arms wrapped around her, crushing her back to him. With his lips, his tongue, his teeth, he tried to pour everything into her that he couldn't put into words. That he did want her. That she was his. That as wrong as it was, as broken and cold and completely vile he was, he wasn't able to give up this precious beacon of his life that had agreed to come with him so long ago in that London back alley. That he'd tear worlds apart to keep her from being hurt. That he'd tear his own small world apart to keep himself from hurting her.

Her hands tangled into his hair, fingers scraping across his scalp, and he moaned into the kiss. She took the chance to slip her tongue in his mouth, sliding hers across his. She ground against him once more and his brain short circuited, devoting all the senses in his frankly magnificent brain to the brilliant girl in his lap.

Somehow, she still had the presence of mind to set to work removing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. She got a hand inside, nails scraping down the skin between his two hearts.

He tore his mouth away again, eyes on her breasts as they heaved up and down with gusts of air. Arms wrapped tightly around her to keep her where he wanted, he stumbled to his feet and down the halls of the TARDIS. "Bedroom," he growled in response to her inquisitive eyes looking up at him. He nearly dropped her when she resumed the sucking pressure on his neck.

Taking just a moment to lean against the wall, pressing into her until she whimpered, he finally got his door opened and stumbled towards the bed. He tossed her onto the middle of the bed, sending her giggling. He smiled back at her, struggling to get his shirt and trousers off. Clad only in pants, he moved back towards her, stilling her hands where they fought with the clasp of her jeans.

He pressed her hands back into the mattress, dropping a kiss to her lips as he popped the button. When he lowered the zip, she tried to raise her hands to his chest, but he pressed them back down again. "Stay," he ordered, a teasing note cutting through his sternness. Hooking his fingers in the sides of her jeans, he tugged them down, shifting up and away from her to pull them off her legs, pausing only to tug her shoes off and throw them in a corner.

His hands traced up her thighs, grinning at the way she arched into his touch. Avoiding the place she was wiggling for him to touch, he snagged her top, pulling it up over her head and throwing it the way of her jeans. All pretense and fear had been banished from him the moment he kissed her back. Running gentle fingers up her stomach and ribs to softly cradle her breasts, he slid his fingers over the green satin. "Y'know, they don't make anything this nice for men."

Huffing in annoyance and suppressed laughter, she wound her fingers into his hair and tugged him up towards her. Instead of obeying, he grabbed her hands again, pressing them once more into the bed. "I will restrain you if I have to."

Her eyes darkened even more, but she remained still, except for a wiggle of her hips between his knees. He lowered his head, tracing the flesh along the cup as his hands wound beneath her, snapping the clasp open on her bra. He tugged it down and threw it over his shoulder, eyes snapping to hers as he closed his lips over one pink nipple.

She arched against him, whimpering as his tongue played over the erect bud. Slender fingers plucked at the other, rolling it in time to the rhythm of his mouth. "Doctor, please!" she panted, thrashing beneath him.

Releasing her with a pop, he grinned as he slid farther down her body. He pressed a cool kiss to her hipbone and snagged her knickers by the tips of his fingers, dragging them down her legs. As the full force of her arousal hit him, he froze, soaking in the message her body was screaming at him. "Doctor!" she cried again in frustration, tugging on his hair once more.

He followed her pull up, sliding his body along each inch of hers. When he was level with her, he scanned her face. A twinge of guilt hit him for taking advantage of her state, but her legs wrapping around his waist banished all such thoughts. With a growl, he pressed his lips to hers and ground his hips against hers.

Her head fell back, eyes slamming closed as she arched up into him, pressing every inch of her into his body. He pulled back enough to scan her face, fingers trailing gently down her cheek. She'd always been beautiful, since the first time he'd seen her flushed and scared in the basement. But as his eyes roamed over her swollen lips and her heaving chest, he decided this was how he wanted to see her from now on. The Council'd had it all wrong. This wasn't messy and base; this was perfection.

Her eyes opened slowly, pupils nearly swallowing everything else. "Too many layers," she murmured.

"Hmm?" he asked distractedly, trailing his fingers through her hair splayed across his pillow. When she wiggled her hand beneath the band of his pantss, hand closing around him, he nearly collapsed on top of her. A wordless shout escaped as he dropped his head onto her shoulder.

A sense of urgency gripped them both when he pulled her hand away from him to help tug down the last barrier between them. He scanned her face one more time, guilt rising for what they were about to do. Her impatient hand closed around him again, tugging him closer to her and lining him up with her soaking entrance.

Bracing himself above her, he slid into her slowly, hissing as her unbelievable heat encased her. She groaned, appreciating the difference in temperature as much as he was. When he thought he'd slipped in as much as he could, he stilled, looking for any sign of pain on her face. But her legs wound around his waist, pulling him down onto her and slipping him even deeper.

"Rasillon, Rose," he cried, eyes pinching shut as he willed himself not to shoot off right then. He heard her giggle, forcing a smile out of him as well, and she leaned up, licking and nipping along his collarbones.

When she moved to his left pulse point, sucking as hard as she had on the other side, he pulled out and slammed back into her with a grunt. "Oh, Doctor, do that again, oh god, please!" she cried out breathlessly, dropping her head back to arch her hips against him. He grinned, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him, withdrawing only to repeat it with more force.

He had her whimpering and moaning, calling out words that didn't make sense as he slid in and out of her, hitching his hips to catch on the little bundle of nerves above where he entered her. She shuddered beneath him, but she tightened her muscles around him on a thrust in, and he choked out "Rose!"

He leaned up again, bracing himself to increase the speed and force he pounded into her. Fingers curled in the sheets to the side of her head, forcing himself away from her thoughts, he pinched his eyes shut, focusing only on the feeling of plunging and withdrawing from her.

Her muscles were starting to flutter around him, distracting him so much he nearly missed the little choking sound she made. His eyes flew open, searching her face. She had it turned towards the wall, and the low light in the room glinted off the tears streaking down her cheeks. His hearts nearly shattered as he slowed to a stop. She made a small noise of protest and turned back to face him.

Shame shone so bright in those startling brown eyes, nearly eclipsing the lust that had been there since they'd gotten back to the TARDIS. His hearts splintering even more, he dropped down against her, keeping himself still as he raised a hand to stroke across her cheek.

"Rose—" he began.

"I'm sorry," she half laughed, half sobbed, wiping at her other cheek to clear away the tears. "I am so, so sorry. I didn't— I just— I _never_ wanted—well, of course I wanted this. But not like this, never like this! Oh god, what you must think of me." She sobbed again, more tears escaping as she covered her face. Then her hands moved to his chest, pushing back lightly. "Doctor, oh my god, Doctor, I—"

He dropped the rest of the space between them, chest to chest, legs tangled together, forehead pressing against hers. "Rose," he croaked. He swallowed a couple times and cleared his throat, opening his eyes slowly to focus on hers. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. I… It's me. I shouldn't've…"

She scoffed as if she didn't believe her, shaking her head lightly. His other hand came up to cradle her face, keeping her looking at him. "I could have stopped this, if I wanted to. The TARDIS, she knew something was wrong before I did. She's been pumping a counteragent into the air. 'S why you're thinking clearly now, rather than after your release. I could've held you off until it took effect."

Warring with himself, he scoured her eyes, searching for a hint of that love that he'd tried to ignore always shining just for him. He found more than a hint. He found the depth of her feelings, realizing they were reflected back in him with no more barriers. "I could've stopped this, and I didn't. I didn't want to, anymore. I wanted…" He huffed in frustration at the limits of the English language, at his narrow options of expressing himself. He pressed his lips to hers desperately before pulling back. "I've been wasting so much time, afraid of… I don't even know. But I'm done. I want to spend as much time with you, in every way possible, as I can. If you'll let me. I can't… Rose, you can write this off to that hormone if you want. I can walk out right now, and we can go back to being friends."

He saw the apprehension in her eyes, and it broke the last secret he'd been holding on to. "I couldn't see a reason for pretending any longer. Rose Tyler, I—" He choked on the words, unable to get them past the lump in his throat.

Her fingers coasted over his lips, all her worry and shame melting away in the warmth of her love. She laughed, the last of her tears tracking down into her hair as she pulled him against her, lips moving against his in a way so different from earlier. This wasn't unbridled lust, forcing a reaction out of him. This was innocent, simple love, completion and forgiveness, heaven and forever wrapped up in this amazing, impossible girl.

She shifted her hips against his, tugging at the coil in his stomach. His hand drifted down, pressing against the flat of her belly as he pulled back and pushed back into her. She broke the kiss with a gasp, fingers scraping down his back. Surprised, he jolted into her again with a cry.

She smirked mischievously at him, and he smirked back, angling up for a series of bone-jarring thrusts that pressed him against her clit on each plunge. Her smile fell away with a shout of his name. She met him on the next thrust, wrenching her name from his lips as he buried his face in her neck, letting all of his feelings about her pour out of him through the contact as he began to tighten.

She gasped in surprise and with a tightness he didn't think he'd survive, squeezed around him as she fell into pieces. He continued to thrust into her, riding out her orgasm and drawing out the pleasure as long as he could. "Doctor… I love you," she sobbed, fingers tangling in his hair.

He jolted in surprise, tumbling over the precipice after her, lyrical Gallifreyan filling the room as he called out what she meant to him, what he would give to her, in every way he never could in her language.

He collapsed against her, then rolled to the side, pulling her on top of him. She was gasping for air, her warm breath puffing across his chest and making him tremble inside her. Finally she raised her head, a smirk across those beautiful swollen lips. "If I'd've known jumping you was all it took to get you to finally let me in, I would have done it months ago," she teased.

He dropped his head back with a laugh, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into him as he pressed a loving kiss to her nose.


End file.
